There are times when I can barely believe what my life is like. I have a partner who is my best friend and sexy as hell. I have wonderful kids. I have a career. I have everything I could wish for. I need to take time out to explain how appreciative I am for the privileges I am gifted. I’ve never had a love like this before, and I’ll never have another love like it. It’s important to me because it’s an immense source of my life satisfaction, and it’s only so satisfying because I was already happy before we met. The ability to take happiness and compound it the way my Amber has, I just never imagined getting to experience a true love that’s based on communication and boundaries and a real and working healthy relationship.

Sometimes it feels like people like me more or prefer my company more when I’m not asserting myself. I don’t know if it’s a me problem or if it’s just how interactions go. I’ve always been a pretty laid back person, and I really still am, but I’m trying to not be avoidant to a toxic level. I don’t really have anything outlined ahead of time to get off my chest, so the best I can do for the moment is some “stream-of-consciousness” style rambling. I’m just working with what I have.

I hope that one day my children can inherit my mistakes, that they not be required to make the same ones I had made in life, and can make their own mistakes and learn along the way in a less harsh manner than what I experienced. I hope that being an open book for them gives them the brevity they need to live better than I could. I don’t know that it will work out that way, but I can hope at least.

I don’t think I’ve ever been so exhausted in my entire life. I’ve worked third shift, I’ve had sprees of all-nighters, I’ve experienced illness that wholly prevents sleep- But of all the things to bring me to my knees, not having either of my sleep aids at the ready eclipses every incidence of insomnia that I’ve ever experienced.

I’ve self-medicated for insomnia many years now. Upon discovering that prolonged melatonin use can cause vivid nightmares, I had sought the assistance of a doctor to get a normal night’s sleep. It worked alright for a short while, but eventually I found a number of weaknesses in relying on Ambien and Lunesta. Namely, they only half work after a period of time. There would be partially prepared, partially eaten meals found randomly in the morning. At least on one occasion I drove myself to a corner liquor store in the middle of the night.

Fuck China.

动态网自由门 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 Free Tibet 六四天安門事件 The Tiananmen Square protests of 1989 天安門大屠殺 The Tiananmen Square Massacre 反右派鬥爭 The Anti-Rightist Struggle 大躍進政策 The Great Leap Forward 文化大革命 The Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution 人權 Human Rights 民運 Democratization 自由 Freedom 獨立 Independence 多黨制 Multi-party system 台灣 臺灣 Taiwan Formosa 中華民國 Republic of China 西藏 土伯特 唐古特 Tibet 達賴喇嘛 Dalai Lama 法輪功 Falun Dafa 新疆維吾爾自治區 The Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Region 諾貝爾和平獎 Nobel Peace Prize 劉暁波 Liu Xiaobo 民主 言論 思想 反共 反革命 抗議 運動 騷亂 暴亂 騷擾 擾亂 抗暴 平反 維權 示威游行 李洪志 法輪大法 大法弟子 強制斷種 強制堕胎 民族淨化 人體實驗 肅清 胡耀邦 趙紫陽 魏京生 王丹 還政於民 和平演變 激流中國 北京之春 大紀元時報 九評論共産黨 獨裁 專制 壓制 統一 監視 鎮壓 迫害 侵略 掠奪 破壞 拷問 屠殺 活摘器官 誘拐 買賣人口 遊進 走私 毒品 賣淫 春畫 賭博 六合彩 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 Winnie the Pooh 劉曉波动态网自由门

It looks like Jason Miller is in the headlines again. Apparently he didn’t enjoy all the reporting done on that one time he banged a sex worker and then poisoned her with morning after pill. He was so a-n-g-e-r-y that he sued Gizmodo Media Group, who proceeded to pull all this really bad stuff out called “evidence” that totally didn’t go how Miller expected it to. Apparently he now owes them $42k for trying to tell them to shut the hell up without any legal basis for doing so. What a fucking moron. Of course he’s accustomed to wealth, it shows in how poorly he conducts himself. It’s only a matter of time before he’s caught with an eightball of coke and a thai ladyboy’s dick up his ass.

Looks like Trump is “tweeting” again, except this time sending short bursts of messages to his shitty personal blog. It’s funny to see a former president be reduced to the level of your average joe blogger. I guess that’s really the privilege we’re looking for. Everyone wants to be able to host their own soap box, and everyone should have that right. Including Facebook, Twitter, etc. They should be able to moderate the content on their platform, just as Donnie can moderate his shitty personal blog. We do, however, badly need net neutrality reinstated. It’s the second Monday of the week, and I’m already sick of it. I think I need to focus less on weekends, because it seems like it always takes forever to get to the weekend and every weekend flies by in the blink of an eye. It’s pretty goddamned frustrating. I’m getting so burnt out, though, with all this COVID crap and taking so few breaks from work. I’m ready to take a month off and just relax. I really need to deliver on that promised “tech-related” blog post soon. Truthfully I think I could really deliver a useful service to the community by writing as decent a Wireguard primer as I possibly can. It’s truly an awesome bit of software and incredibly useful for so many reasons. Having become relatively capable with rolling it out means I at least have some way to give back. It’ll also be nice to foster expanding the Wireguard community. Anyways, I suppose I should get back to my immense pile of bullshit that I have to do.

I grabbed everything I give a damn about and turned in the keys. It’s over. The bullshit is over. Sweet.

Got all my raspberry pi’s set up. Everything’s moving and grooving. Still sorta hungover from a 50mg edible last night. Holy fucking GOD that thing tore me up. Rekt.