This is a handy guide to interpreting common phrases you may come across on the internet.
| What they say | What they mean |
|---|---|
| “I’m the KING of SQLi/DDoS/Doxing.” | “I am the goodest at biting my wrist while I shout at the wall.” |
| “I have a botnet that can peak at 50gbps.” | “I have a penis that peaks at 3 inches.” |
| “I have o:lines all over the place.” | “I haven’t left the basement in months.” |
| “I TROLL U. LOLOLOLOL. UMAD BRO?” | “Please don’t disconnect. I don’t have real life friends.” |
| “I use Linux.” | “I once booted an Ubuntu LiveCD.” |
| “I work in IT when I’m not on IRC.” | “I sell laptops at Best Buy.” |
| “I’m a penetration tester.” | “I run Zenmap and Hivaj on Windows 7.” |
| “I’m a hacker.” | “Programming frightens me. Hivaj has a big, pretty button.” |
| “I like to code.” | “My final project in CSIII was a VB .Net calculator.” |
| “I have a website.” | Wordpress |
| “My usual network is Efnet.” | #idlerpg |
| “My usual network is 2600.” | “I’m a fed informant.” |
| “My usual network is AnonOps.” | “I’m a paid fed informant.” |
| “My usual network is Rizon.” | *yiff yiff yiff yiff* |
| “I prefer Gnome over KDE.” | “I like ugly things that just work.” |
| “I prefer KDE over Gnome.” | “I don’t care if it works, as long as it’s pretty.” |
| “I use XMonad.” | “Crush my balls harder, mistress! I’ve been ever so bad.” |
Alright, that’s it for now. I’ll probably do a follow up if I think of more inane shit to drop on this topic.