Having major depression sucks. I don’t remember how many times I’ve been diagnosed with major depression, but I do know that I’ve been on countless medications with countless horrible side effects and I’ve run the gamut on pills, some that people have never heard of. I’ve gone unmedicated for over two years now. Being unmedicated has been a rollercoaster of ups and downs. During peak times, things are amazing. I can more than function, I can succeed and overcome any obstacle. When the lowest points are hit, everything becomes an obstacle. Getting up in the morning is an obstacle. Getting out of bed is an obstacle. I can barely bring myself to keep in touch with people, everything turns into bitterness and hatred. When I’m happy, I’m an asshole because it’s fun. When I’m feeling horrible, I’m an asshole because it’s a self defense mechanism. Yes, I’m admitting to being an asshole, but at least I’m not always wrong when I’m an asshole.