Well, this was unexpected. Seriously. I’ve been married before. I got married for the wrong reasons, largely because I had no idea what I really wanted out of a relationship. In hindsight, it makes a lot of sense. You try things while you’re alive and test them out, see if they’re the right fit for you. I was mostly okay with my ex wife while we were married, but honestly her personality was not at all compatible with mine. We clashed more often than not, and it didn’t take very long before the little trust we had built our relationship on had completely eroded to absolute distrust. The relationship after my ex wife was a nightmarish rebound. My last ex taught me about borderline personality disorder in the way that touching a stovetop teaches you about fire. I immediately did not trust her, but she pretended to be my “best friend”, and the illusion was really thin. I knew she was a predator from the start, so I always kept her at arm’s length. I even proposed to her when I had no intention of ever legally tying myself to her. I wouldn’t have even conceived a child with her had she not lied about being on birth control. Always lying, always decieving, always gaslighting to make herself look innocent instead of evil.

But from that point on I had a solid idea that I wanted a real best friend, not a pretend one that would fuck me over out of convenience. After crazy ex I was far more guarded, insular. Sure, I talked to women, went on dates, but I really didn’t get invested unless there were real reasons to. Then I met my wife. Right off the bat she said that she was tired of games and lies, she would be completely up front with me about everything if I did the same- so I obliged. Along the way, I loved all I saw. I really knew pretty quickly I was not only ready, but in love. She’s the one. She is my everything. Crazy intelligent with a huge heart- she won me over fast. Her beautiful eyes still captivate me.

I never expected to find my forever person. While I had been single I worked really hard on being happy with who I am as a person, and I think that helped us get together in the end. But here she is, she’s my best friend, my lover, the most beautiful woman in my universe. She treats me like the best thing in her life and she is absolutely the best thing to ever happen to me. “Wedded bliss” might be the most unexpected label to apply to my life.

I feel compelled now to get healthier. I’ve cut out THC completely and I’ve massively limited my caffeine intake to an occasional soda. I want us to have as many years together as we can; there are no guarantees in life. I finally have a beautiful thing in my life to cherish.