For the umteenth time I’ve logged yet another page in my journal of “co-parenting with a borderline”. This entry ends up highlighting the pitch black feet my son had coming from his mother’s house and the fact that he was gifted a Motorola Razr phone when the furnace doesn’t even work.

In most jurisdictions this is frowned upon. CPS will give you resources to pay bills and things if you’re actually just in dire financial straits, but if you’re just showing how selfish you are prioritizing stupidity over necessary things like a home above freezing temperature they will frown at you big time.

She really thinks she’s mother of the year, that’s she’s doing the best that she can do all things considered. She thinks it’s everyone else’s fault that these things happen despite the fact that she’s the one making the decisions and fucking up. I guess that’s what you get when you try to manipulate and lie instead of doing DBT workbooks and actually trying to be better. My son knows his mother lies, manipulates, and is wildly inconsistent, and usually borderlines just cut and run when they can’t control someone or think they’ve lost control of someone. I’m terrified she’s going to cut and run on him like the rest of the borderlines do. Like she has done with relationships in the past. I grew up with only one parent and it gave me great difficulty through most of my life. Then again, if she’s going to be like this for the rest of his life she might as well just run away. She’s not actually raising him, she’s offloading that responsibility on her husband. It’s funny how she structures every situation as people owing her, even though having a job is just a part of life. If she were single she’d have to keep everything clean and still have a job. But she makes the excuse that everything is on the person in the relationship who isn’t working. More borderline bullshit.

It’s frustrating. My son is a wonderful human being. He’s silly, he’s outgoing, he’s so smart, and he has a huge heart. I have no idea how this human being came to be, because Amanda’s mom is definitely Cluster B and Amanda turned out awful and inconsiderate. I don’t even know if Amanda is capable of real human love. She’s certainly not showing it to her own children, and I’m over here trying to pick up her slack.

I tried texting my son, figuring his mother found the heating blanket tucked away in his backpack. I also figured she grounded him from his phone, which seems to have been the case. She’s very wrong in this. Trying to control what a kid with ADHD says is like trying to stop a waterfall with a bucket. She can lie and manipulate and punish him, but at the end of the day, you can’t change a Zebra’s stripes.