Tired
Man, I’m really tired. I think a part of it is the lingering notion that it might be time for me to step out of my comfort zone and start exploring programming in a serious way, either by learning javascript or python, and maybe trying to do something career-wise with it. I dunno. I’ve heard, and seen, that javascript is a complete fucking mess. Python is pretty awesome, but I’ve just never spent any significant amount of time messing with it.
I dunno.
I guess my ass is still chapped at being passed over for a software developer position at work, despite my company continuing to pay for my Visual Studio subscription. It’s kinda stupid to expect me to use Visual Studio to develop software when I’m not a software developer by title. Sure, I’ll bang together messy cludges of scripts to get done what needs to get done, but by no means am I obliged to develop or deploy finished software products.
Those feelings just get compounded seeing my peers be promoted to less stressful positions within the company while I know I’m dead-ended where I’m at. I make jokes about being a janitor, but at the end of the day that’s what this job is. I clean up other folks’ messes. It’s whatever. At the end of the day, I’m just looking to do well enough in this capitalist hellscape to obtain things that keep me as content with the bullshit as possible- no more, no less. I’m not interested in this bullshit consuming my soul. Doing the best that I can so someone else can make more money off me? Miss me with that shit.