Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. You boot your work computer up, and you give it five or so minutes to settle after the initial shock of it being asked to do things after peacefully sleeping. Then you notice that it’s been a minute, and your computer should be ready to go, but you click on the “Start” menu and nothing happens. So you do the dirty deed and you press Ctrl + Shift + Esc and look at what the hell is consuming your entire laptop’s resources, and causing the fucking thing to swap to disk. What’s that process?

MsMpEng.exe

You son of a bitch. You absolute thundercunt. FFFFUUUUUUU-