Anxiety
My anxiety is through the roof these days. I’ve been working on the same massive project for nearly six months now. Maybe it’s been longer, I honestly can’t remember. It has felt like many eternities. As if that weren’t anxiety enough, I’m possibly being poached by our software development team. I love programming and tinkering but I really don’t know what to think.
Not only is all this going on, but we’re closing on a new house in the comings weeks. It’s a damned big place in a decent area and it’s a new construction. I’ve never owned a house before, let alone a new house. It’s wild.
As soon as I’m all settled in at work and we’re settled into our new house, we’re going to be heading towards another goal. I need to ask my woman to marry me. I’m crazy excited to see her walk down the aisle, and I’m just excited to marry her no matter what, but thoughts of doing a tropical destination wedding are damned thrilling. Having my love and ambition matched by another person so fully is an overwhelming feeling. It’s wonderful. It’s exciting. I’ve never had this kind of deep and transparent connection with another person before. This is the only thing that can make my heart race without giving me anxiety. I have my “ride or die”, and she has hers, and I couldn’t be more excited about the future.