I’ve been toying around with Google Analytics, and I’ve found some pretty interesting stuff. It actually flies beyond the border of creepy and flatly allows you to “stalk your stalkers”. They might as well coin the term “counter-stalking”, because they allow you to watch everyone who views your website, their behavior, and you can even make web design decisions that are quite sound based on what you find in the data and how you interpret it. After nosing around a bit, I can tell you that if I really wanted my website to take off I’d cease blogging rants about how Obama sucks or why we shouldn’t interfere in Israel’s “issues” and instead just post five lolcats a day. That would be all it takes to make this website über-popular. Just lolcats. Mind you, I’m not going to do that. I’m going to do what I damn well please because I don’t blog to please others, I blog to please myself. So this crevice can remain solemnly unpopular for all the fucks I give. But just check out how creepy this “user interaction flow” is.

Google Analytics

Creepy, right? Max of 12 interactions for the users who browsed the longest, and those flows represent how they browsed the site. Each red “waterfall” represents people clicking “x” and telling me to virtually fuck off.

I am, however, considering replacing the whole blog with a copy of Encyclopedia Dramatica’s “Offended” page. I might add that, actually… Hmm…