I know a lot of you have seen me going back and forth being upset and
posting absolutely insane rants at points, and a lot of you have heard
me telling stories about my infamous ex, drunkenly ranting about him in
my room on occasion, telling you to “Know your Heroes” and all these
things. But now I feel I owe you an explanation.
I lost my virginity at 15, to a man named Deric Lostutter. That name
sound familiar to you? You may also know him as KYAnonymous, the so
called member of anonymous who brought much publicity to the
steubenville rape case and was then raided by the FBI and blown up by
the press for being some saviour for rape vicitims everywhere. Brad
Pitt’s movie studio supposedly bought the rights to make a movie about
his story in Rolling Stone, he was in esquire, all over the internet,
and all that would be so utterly interesting to me if he wasn’t a total
I lost my virginity with his hand over my mouth, telling me it wouldn’t
always hurt like this, but to let him finish and I would be ok. I said
yes, but when I said no, he pushed down harder and ignored anyone my
struggles to remove him. Some may say that was rape. Some may say I
asked for it, especially because I dated him for another two years and
continued to fall back into old habits with him for nearly seven years
after that, But I know that no matter how you classify that, the things
he did were wrong. For two years he could call me up, bend me over and
send me on my way any time he wanted. He introduced me to the BDSM world
and became my Dom, and I his Sub, and eventual slave, (titles and all,
not that I was allowed to talk about it, mind you.) at 15 years old. He
cheated on me with no less than 14 different girls, some younger, some
older, and I am sure there are more that I never even knew about.
he is a scum bag. I have heard and witnessed so many things that he has
done to other women over the years. Disgusting things. And I have kept
silent for so long, getting a snide comment in here or there where I
But yesterday, after posting one of my usual pointed arguments about his
flip flopping on political and social view, and his manipulation of his
“fans” he retaliated. He sent his family and friends to harass me,
insult me my child my family, threatened very pointedly to expose my cam
site to the public, and when I didn’t back down, he followed through.
on his public facebook page, with nearly 6,000 followers, he posted my
full real name, alone with my camming twitter, and a message to his
followers to go defend him. Unfortunately for me, though he deleted that
post, it was shared across facebook and also screen shot and posted on
thankfully I did not get the trolls I expected, and I have had so many
people defending me, supporting me, and it has lead me to come to this
conclusion. I am done hiding what he did to me.
The man is disgusting. And he may never actually pay for his crimes by
the laws standards, But I am tired of hiding the things he did to me,
and other girls have started coming forward as well telling me stories
of the things he did to them as well.
I also want to apologize to all of you. I keep you in the dark about a
lot of my personal life. and I am very private about so many things. But
I’m done disappearing. I’m done hiding and I’m really done living my
life in fear of what the world will think of me. So please help me
spread the word. Know your heroes. this man is a fraud, an abuser, and a
liar, and though you can commend his public actions, he should be
stopped from leaching off the fame of a rape victim any longer and put
back into his place of shame.
below are a couple articles about him, on BOTH sides, so you don’t think
I’m just trying to make you believe I’m a victim. I am not a victim. I
have an incredible life and I have grown so much since all the things he
did to me. But I also think you all can see the truth as I do.
this is the rolling stone Article from the height of his fame:
This is an article by Don Carpenter, a Journalist who has been posting
the other side of things since this all started (though deric fervently
tries to refute despite his lawyers warnings to lay low):
I really hope you all support me, and help spread the word about this
man. And thank you all for being there for me through a lot of this,
even if you didn’t know it was going on.