I could watch her sleep all day. Her pretty eyes fluttering from whatever dreams stop by, her cute nose, deliciously juicy lips- She’s my person. She’s my warmth, my haven, wherever she is will be my sanctuary for the rest of my days. Around her I am myself, I’m not any half-truth of myself or censored artifact but my actual self, and she still loves me. To have that so completely with someone I love so much is something I’ve never experienced before. I can say that it feels like we’ve known each other forever and yet I can learn something new about her every day. I don’t need to know every inch of who she is as a person because I am not at all afraid of what I don’t know. The most important parts, her wonderful nature, she’s shared with me in deep and meaningful ways. I’ve also shared all that I can, all that there is of me. We can share whole days so comfortably, effortlessly. We put in the work and we communicate and we build together, we’re truly partners sharing a life, and it feels amazing. She’s amazing. You’re never going to find someone smarter. She’s an analytical boss of a person that can plan at a stretch as well as think on the fly. She’s cute and quirky and silly and fascinating and I love her.

This pretty well sums up how the CIA has pretty much dictated Hollywood portrayals of police and the legal system since they first began this endeavor with “Mockingbird”. All cops are bastards. I say that decisively and without hesitation, because it’s true. People who want to be cops are bastards, so how could the police force avoid being infiltrated by bastards? Now, I can’t claim that the law enforcement situation is the same in every country, it absolutely isn’t. I’m sure there are quite a few countries out there who don’t give their police force unchecked powers to leverage against the entire population as they see fit. On the contrary, it seems like most countries recognize that systems of checks and balances are incredibly important in maintaining order. The US has just always had an ass backward half-ass method of trying to attempt things, the result is never as good as what other countries produce.

It really does seem that way sometimes. I get the impression from many people that I conduct myself offensively, and I think to a large degree they’re mostly correct. I do eschew some societal standards for either the sake of brevity or just laziness. I don’t have a twitter or facebook account. I don’t have many, if any, social media accounts. This is as social as I get, and honestly I hope to keep this away from most people I encounter on a daily basis. It’s not for them to know the things in my head, save for whomever I allow in. I suppose I have a keen appreciation for privacy that not everyone was born equipped with. I honestly don’t think it was something I innately went to, either. It was more self defense for the unease of earning parental reproach. I was always afraid of miscalculated steps, doing something incorrectly, saying something incorrectly, being judged for things that I enjoy. My mom never really allowed me to put a healthy boundary between her and I, any boundary laid out was frequently breached and it would always feel horrible. In that environment I think I developed a deep appreciation for being able to have a private life that’s apart and away from anything and everything I participate in publicly. In fact, my fondness of privacy is the reason I’ll always blog here with only a pseudonym. I’ll never attach my lamename to this place, not fully. I know that each and every post on this blog has the potential to offend someone, it’s just a matter of whom and over what that determines whether it’s worth my reversing course to apologize.

Have you ever wondered why society is the way it is? Why we have millionaires and billionaires telling us that police are more important than ensuring all of our neighbors are able to sustain themselves? Human nature is so corrupt and fucked for the first instinct to be to fuck over other humans to gain an advantage. Yet that’s what we do at every turn. Instead of allowing wealth to be distributed more evenly the wealthiest will dump far more cash into ensuring that there are “have-nots” than anything else.

Lindsey Graham needs to just die already.

Once these assholes die, hopefully their children won’t be so fucking awful, and society can get better over time. But for real, this piece of shit is beyond redemption and the only way he can improve society is by a swift exit to the ethereal plane.

I caught the coof. God dammit. Again. It’s goddamned horrible. I’m not a fan, do not recommend. Don’t have “COVID parties”, don’t intentionally try to catch this thing, you’re gonna get it over and over eventually. Just avoid it. And all you superdodgers out there better count your lucky fucking stars that you don’t go through this shit, because it’s unfortunate to say the least.

I’m not sure if you’ve noticed this yet, but I treat this blog as my sort of social media. It’s where I dump my thoughts and feelings whereas normally most people would do so on facebook or twitter. I don’t accept that someone else has any say in what language I use or what thoughts I express, and so this is the road I’m taking for better or worse. I can be as kind or as abrasive as I see fit without conforming anything about myself to any standard set by society. I can do so relatively safely from behind a pseudonym that isn’t directly attached to me publicly. My OPSEC isn’t perfect by any means, and most would say it’s incredibly insufficient, but I think I’ve found a rational balance with OPSEC. Security, at the end of the day, is always a compromise between the end goal and usability. The end goal being absolute security, which is almost entirely unusable by anyone. A totally secure system doesn’t exist, because total security precludes all usability. So, of course, security is always trying to find the needle’s happy place between a usable and unusable system. You can easily find photos of my face on this blog, but that’s pretty much it. There are also a few other obscure bits and pieces, but it’s not frequent and it would require some effort for anyone to put together a comprehensive dossier on me.

It’s funny to me that Google has decided Youtube is best served by removing the dislike button. Google doesn’t seem to realize they always had access to a better option, a more future-proof one. Google should actually have pulled what Facebook tried to, enforcing a “no pseudonym” rule aside from on a case by case basis. It would’ve been easier to implement that than basically ruin Youtube as a service, which was the road they actually took.

Man, we’ve been watching this series called “Sister Wives” where these goofy ass motherfuckers go out in the world seeking extra partners when they’re already paired up. It’s a whole ass thing, man. Like, seriously. You’ve got this creepy serial-killer looking motherfucker, “Garrick Merrifield”, acting the part completely. He’s a total manipulative narcissist, controlling his wife Danielle and seemingly brainwashing her across like three seasons. But what creeps me out is that she seems to carve herself a spot in the fucked up triad that inevitably ends up toxic and awful. It’s just fucking wild, man. He keeps saying shit like “God has a plan and this must be part of it”. It’s ultra fucking creepy and cultish. He keeps saying that shit through nearly every episode of every season. The funniest thing is, he’s clearly just a pussy-fiend. It has absolutely fuck all to do with “God” and everything to do with him thinking with his dick. That’s all he ever does in any episode. He thinks with his dick and then when everything explodes just shrugs and says “Must be God’s will”. Like, no, motherfucker. Take some fucking responsibility for the fucked up shit you do and quit dragging invisible space wizards into it. He’s a sick fuck.