If you haven’t watched it yet, absolutely go check out the Netflix series about the “Amber Heard / Johnny Depp” trial. It’s wild to see everything that came out in that trial, and Amber Heard’s ridiculous attempts to cry on demand in front of the court. I also felt really bad hearing audio of Depp himself admit that he was abused. I’m only two episodes in, but I think the third episode (my prediction before actually seeing it) will highlight Heard’s borderline personality diagnosis, which is probably the point that the wheels absolutely fell off the trial. Man, that audio, though. It resonated with experiences I’ve had, it really did. That way she tried to bait him into meeting her violence with violence and him just brokenly responding with what little he had left. Man, I bet Depp never gets with another borderline ever again.

At our house we enjoy some trashy reality TV from time to time. One of our guilty pleasures has always been the “90 Day Fiance” series. It always seems to be a cauldron of desperation and dirt that makes an amazing amalgam of human trauma. It’s wild to see the rollercoasters these people subject themselves to from the immediate highs when they first meet to their first huge fights, to the almost guaranteed conclusion of divorce or separation. It really is some entertaining shit.

On my drive in to work this morning I had a thought occur to me that hasn’t really before, but it struck me as a fairly accurate metaphor for how I feel on a day to day basis. Mind you, I’m in no way saying I’m even remotely a possession-oriented person, and I’m really typically a minimalist at heart. I buy few things, but when I buy things I need in life I try and ensure they’re of a substantive quality so that they last as long as I may need them. I also have no qualm with parting with things I haven’t used in extended periods, unless I foresee an immediate or near-immediate use for them.

I was going to write something here. I really was. I think I had something in mind to dump here. It’s long gone, though. I can’t dig it up quite yet. Whatever it was, hopefully it wasn’t important. I can’t fathom it might’ve been. I don’t think so, anyways. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how I expect to solve the “Wireguard Peer Networks Matching” problem. So, there’s an issue with the ip addressing scheme on my home network. It’s a private class C subnetted ip address scheme. Your standard 192.168.1.1/24. It’s not normally an issue when I’m out and about because a lot of public network access points are using the far more generous class A private network ip scheme. Sometimes it’ll be class B, but it’s rarer. Almost always some flavor of Class A. But I think the solution to my problem lies in turning my home network into a class A private network. I think that’ll solve my issue largely, so long as I subnet it cleverly enough. So I think that’s the next thing I’ll work on. This is gonna get interesting.

I have so many opinions on so many things, but mostly I don’t really care about opinions. I guess that’s why I just so freely throw them out into the open; they don’t have any intrinsic value. A secret can have a high intrinsic value depending on what it involves. Just look at Ed Snowden and Julian Assange. They know all too well the value of secrets. Especially secrets of powerful nation states.

I haven’t spent much time on this lately. It’s not that I haven’t wanted to, but truthfully I haven’t had anything to say. I’ve been sort of floating through life. It feels distressing, honestly. I’ve grown accustomed to the emotional purges of unleashing whatever is in my head on this blog. Going extended periods without feeling that sort of “pressure release” can be uncomfortable. Even if I don’t really say anything at all, just throwing something down usually feels at least a little beneficial.

Okay, I need to get this out of my system. It’s an incredibly irritating pet peeve of mine when people connect to an IRC server, join a channel, and then expose to everyone in channel openly the fact that this is their very first time using this protocol by saying “I GUESS NO ONE’S ON RIGHT NOW” and just rage quitting.

Bro. What. The. Fuck. Do you not realize that IRC is #IdleRPG? Fucking seriously. It drives me nuts. Like this little gem:

It seems like I’m back at the travel, yet again. All of next week I’ll be at least a few states over, technically, and it’s not going to be a good time. Sure, I have a lot of distractions I bring with me. I roll out with my Macbook Pro 14" M1 Max, Switch, and Steamdeck. Still, I’d trade all of that crap to be taking my wife, and my kids at least half the time (since they annoy the shit out of me sometimes and still need to see their mothers). I don’t enjoy the travel as much as I used to. For a while at the start it was a novel way to escape a dreadful relationship. But I’ve since grown as a person, healed, I’ve worked on myself and the parts of me that led me to that doomed situation in the first place. Once I was on the path to bettering myself, I discovered that I have a lot to be grateful for at home, and that escapism is no way to cope. Then I met my wife, and I love her so very much. I don’t get sick of her. Of course we get on each other’s nerves and annoy each other and sometimes make each other mad, but it’s never to any point where I want to be somewhere else. I always want to be with her. She’s my love.