I don’t feel like I have a net positive impact on society. When I search my feelings and examine this notion I’ve arrived at, I don’t really see any contributions that end up being notable. I’ve done things that have amused me or that I’ve enjoyed, but I can’t really say I’ve done anything to meaningfully change anyone’s life. Not someone else’s, not my own, I’ve never really done anything substantial.
Maybe I need to stop right there. Regardless of how I feel, I do know there are people who love me and who would not be better off without me. Granted, there may not be a lot of these people, but they matter to me a lot.
I don’t know. I love my people. I’m not here to change the world, but the world desperately needs a hero. Holy fucking shit does it need help. It needs a savior, maybe. To be fair, I have no idea what the world needs, I just know that things aren’t going so hot as they are.
I had an idea of what I wanted to write, at some point, I think. Not sure where that idea went. It’s all just so much chaos upstairs, I can never unravel it.