I could watch her sleep all day. Her pretty eyes fluttering from whatever dreams stop by, her cute nose, deliciously juicy lips- She’s my person. She’s my warmth, my haven, wherever she is will be my sanctuary for the rest of my days. Around her I am myself, I’m not any half-truth of myself or censored artifact but my actual self, and she still loves me. To have that so completely with someone I love so much is something I’ve never experienced before. I can say that it feels like we’ve known each other forever and yet I can learn something new about her every day. I don’t need to know every inch of who she is as a person because I am not at all afraid of what I don’t know. The most important parts, her wonderful nature, she’s shared with me in deep and meaningful ways. I’ve also shared all that I can, all that there is of me. We can share whole days so comfortably, effortlessly. We put in the work and we communicate and we build together, we’re truly partners sharing a life, and it feels amazing. She’s amazing. You’re never going to find someone smarter. She’s an analytical boss of a person that can plan at a stretch as well as think on the fly. She’s cute and quirky and silly and fascinating and I love her.
And this is really it, isn’t it? In the past I’ve had two exes that have said to me, “You never say anything nice on your blog”. I only write when I need to release some thought or emotion, and normally the bucket that overflows is one filled with negative things happening in the world around us. But I’ve also never had my “contentment” or “happiness” bucket overfill to an extent where I feel compelled to write about it. I would write blurbs about my exes at the time because they would make comments and throw fits about how my blog represented my life, because quite honestly those relationships were always far more negative than positive, so I would have zero compulsion to write fluff pieces about the people I was with. Except to keep the peace. Under that condition I wrote things I didn’t really feel in disingenuous posts about these people I fully committed to but honestly wasn’t happy about. They weren’t my people. They’re someone else’s people. I have my person now, and all I can do is watch her sleep while I wait for her to get up. She brightens my day. All I can do is think about how lucky I am that I get to be the person setting her heart aflutter. She’s my favorite.