Intensity

I’m officially settled into my promotion at work. Now begins the serious grind, ushering in the future of transportation for the world at large. It’s intimidating to get a piece of that pie. To have a reputation established as being a key player in the transition away from fossil fuels, well… I won’t flatter myself, really. I may be somewhat key, but there are a lot of key players in this. It truly takes a village, and in many ways it takes an entire planet. I need to figure out how to stay humble while acknowledging that the things I’m being involved in are huge. It’s daunting. But I’m going to run at it head first, because I can, and because I have to.

While my career is prepelling ever forward, I have to admit that my personal life is still about eighty flavors of a wreck. I don’t live in a dwelling I want to live in, a city I want to live in, and I don’t drive a car I want to drive. It’s my intention to change all of these things after a year. Really, I need to change these things. It’s going to be important for me to be close to the office as I’m going to virtually live there.

I think I’m pulling off the “Bachelor dad” thing, strainingly, but at least somewhat successfully. I need a day to myself soon. A day to reflect, collect myself, think about everything or nothing as I see fit. Seems like I’ve just been in-motion for so long that I’ve forgotten to take a breather. I need to do things like update this ass-crack of the internet. I need to tinker. I need to flex ideas. I need to inhale, exhale, and remember that it’s not necessary to run a million miles a minute at every goal or accomplishment at all times. It’s just as important to set aside time to do absolutely nothing.

At the same time, it’s hard to set aside adequate time for the people who matter in life. I am lucky to have some amazing friends and family in my life. They’ve always been there, waiting for me to wake from what seemed like a dream. That’s what a real friend is. Someone that’s still there, even after years, when you figure yourself out. Never let them go. Never take them for granted. Accept that what happened, happened, and keep them forever.

I haven’t known who I am as a person in a very long time, but I’m starting to figure myself out. I’m starting to love myself. I’m getting there, and it’s a confusing, crazy, and awesome experience.

12 Jan 2020 14:47 | rant
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