This is my most precocious and preachy post to date. Sorta. I’m basically just going to advocate for voting for Bernie Sanders. Hillary Clinton is an asshole. She is. There’s no getting around it. She pulled a “Sarah Palin” with a private email account, going so far as to use her own equipment, and got caught transmitting sensitive government garbage from said email address.

Hillary Clinton, like her husband, is an asshole. Period. If you’re not convinced that she’s an asshole, that makes you an asshole. Your opinion has thus reduced you from the status of human to asshole. That’s just the way it goes.

So quit being an asshole. Redeem yourself. What are you going to do? You’re not going to vote for Ted Cruz. He’s mentally handicapped. He believes in Jesus. You don’t believe in ghosts, do you? If you do, vote for Ted Cruz, because you two deserve each other. Do you hate brown people? If you hate brown people, vote for Donald Trump. He hates them, too.

But if you’re an average human being who has some sympathy for fellow human beings that you share a continent with, you’ll vote for Bernie Sanders.

Yeah, I know this is all opinion, but what do you expect? The evidence is out there. If you don’t come to the same conclusion that I’ve reached, you’re so fucking beyond hopeless that it’s not funny. In fact, I’m surprised you’re capable of using the internet. Go be retarded somewhere else, quit filthying up my blog with your extra chromosome.