I saw you casually glancing at me while tweeting on your MacBook Air, sipping slightly on your venti horchatté. You’re judging me for my shitty laptop running crunchbang, my disheveled appearance, and the fact that I’m drinking plain coffee. You’re elite. You’re a part of the hacktivist collective known as “Anonymous”. Or you’re part of the penetration testers who narc on anons because you believe they dilute infosec with garbage.

Whatever side you’re on, you’re a gigantic faggot. You’re what’s wrong with computer enthusiasm. You’re an armchair general, spouting “what’s right” and “what’s fucked up in the world” on twitter, truly believing your bullshit rhetoric is effecting change in the world.

I’ve compiled a list of things wrong with infosec. Here goes.

  1. th3j35t3r is a faggot. Supporting the military also makes you a faggot.

  2. YAN is a shill. Supporting YAN makes you a shill by proxy.

  3. The police are not your friend. They’re corporate thugs hired to ensure the entitled get to maintain status quo without too many poor people killing their buzz.

  4. Israel is a fucked up nation, zionism is a fucked up ideal, and Christianity is garbage. Islam is also garbage. Fuck Mohammed, Allah, Jesus Christ, Buddha, fuck everything you hold dear. If you aren’t convinced enough I’ll buy religious texts and photograph myself excreting a mixture of digested White Castle and Taco Bell on them. Oh, and paganism / wicca is for trendy faggots who don’t fit in but desire commonality with other faggots who don’t fit in.

  5. My speech is worth more than your dogma. I’m going to spout how much I hate what you believe because I believe in freedom of speech. Funny how that works. I also support your right to tell me I’m an asshole for taking a shit on your gold-lined KJV. I don’t really care, and I do support everyone’s right to be retarded. I’m being retarded, but only in the vapid amounts of honesty I’m spewing right now.

  6. Doxing is stupid. Rather, a fear of being doxed is stupid. If you don’t have the conviction to be identified by your offensive views, you’re a piece of shit and kindly go die in a fire. I hope you get doxed and your entire twitter timeline rant about “filthy fucking sandniggers doing 9/11 and th3j35t3r is an American hero” gets sent to your employer and the Palestinian regional district manager fires your ass personally. Or if you’re Anon, you get fired by your jewish boss for being anti-zionism (more likely scenario).

That’s pretty much it.

So yeah, if you support the police, the military, or are a government apologist in any way- you’re what’s wrong with the world. Hey Anonymous, quit being armchair generals and start killing the idiots who shout “Bradley Manning is a traitor”. You’ll actually gain ground if you do that. In fact, why doesn’t everyone kill each other? I’m tired of reading your garbage on both sides.

You all really do need to drink bleach.