Time heals all wounds. This is a truth that will always be true. It’s not a simple truth. It has many facets. Something people seem to forget is that even if time has healed a wound, falling on the same knife still hurts and re-injures. Time doesn’t make you impervious to the injury healed. Injuries don’t always heal exactly as they once were.
I still don’t know where I stand in life. I suppose I’m expected to know or I will be in the near future, but right now all I know is the day to day struggle that I’ve managed since birth.
Some days I feel like weighing in on large world events like “heartbleed” or social issues like corruption. Most days I’d rather just sit quietly and watch everyone else do that for me. Plenty of people can make excellent points all day long, but those voices are always drown out by a retarded majority. The majority of people in the world are much happier not making poignant observations on the critical state of the world. Most folks would much rather watch football and drink beer without thinking for half a second about Ukraine. I’m joining the ranks of most folks. I’m joining them because I no longer care about that which I cannot impact. If I were much younger I’d radicalize. If I were unattached I would join the rebels.
I’m not unattached. I have people I love and who love me. People who depend on me to not get myself killed or drag them into causes, no matter what’s at stake.
I can’t be bothered to care about what you’ve martyred yourself over. I can’t even give proper attention to people who actively try to sabotage my life in person. The negativity just can’t be tended to. I have too much I’m working on and too much to do in a day to worry about the external events.
I suppose this is just a little diatribe against life. I sulkingly have to withdraw myself from that which I’m compelled to tilt my lance toward. I have to retreat rather than gallop forth. I suppose I’ll continue to write, even as topics of interest dwindle. I’ll always have writing as a mechanism of coping with stress in life. Even if I don’t have time to devote to hobbies, I’ll always be able to squeeze a moment in to write. Writing only takes ten minutes a day, compared to many hours to learn some new software convention or platform.
Things will get easier over time. They always do. Time heals all wounds.