This is a list of ridiculous things my girlfriend and I say to one another on a daily basis. It is lol and win because she is awesome. Also, I’m lazy and I’m not going to alphebatize.

(1.) Someone with an ass full of shit. (2.) A term of endearment.

Use: Quit being such a shit-ass.

(1.) Someone with a nerdy ass. (2.) A term of endearment.

Use: You’re a nerd-ass.

A mythical animal that traverses the circulatory systems of people who are in love, causing warm fuzzy feelings.


Use: You put bunnycorns in my heart.

A relative term that describes how much I love my girlfriend.

Use: She never seems to understand that I love her most and always will.

Person who is such a douche that they transcend typical douchery. Also a term of endearment.

Use: You saying that makes you a doushay.

Term used to describe someone who is sexy. Typically in the pants region, but not always localized.

Use: I’m going to get you, sexypants.

Good advice when ‘foot-in-mouth’ syndrome kicks in, or when kisses are better than words.

Use: Shuh-duhp, doushay. (I may hear this often.)

Crime punnishable by “Domestic Violencing”. See “Domestic Violence”.

Use: I’m going to tickle the hell out of you.

Domestic Violence
Getting beat up by my girlfriend, which is always cute because it’s like getting assaulted by one of those giant inflatable hammers you can win at carnivals.

Use: Halp! Poh-lice! I’m being domestic violenced! Halp!

I can’t very well tell everyone all the cute little made up words we share. I’ll stop here, since it’s cute enough to make most people gag but not so cute that it causes mass global vomiting. I’m content with this. It makes me happy.