Foreward: No one was spared, not even the children. Word after word of cruel truth, sputtered forth in ironic tone, not attempting to be humorous but might earn a chortle or two. I bring you, “The Devil’s (Infosec) Dictionary”.

Anonymous /əˈnänəməs/
(1.) Noun Group of “hacktivists” puppeted by CIA.

Antisec /ˈantēsək/
(1.) Noun Digital Anarchists, modern internet mafia. Similar to Democratic Party. Funded at least partially by the CIA, but normally chased by FBI.

Black hat /blakhat/
(1.) Noun A hacker who uses havij to extort companies by holding their data ransom.

Google /ˈgo͞ogəl/
(1.) Noun Every hacker’s source for exploits.

Hacker /‘hakər/
(1.) Noun See “Skid”.

Hacktivist /‘haktivist/
(1.) Noun A person who believes strongly in something and uses havij to express this.

Havij /haveej/
(1.) Noun White hat tool for “penetration testing”.

(1.) Noun A place to go when you’re really bored and feel like wasting a portion of your life.

Linux /ˈlinəks/
(1.) Noun Operating System of choice for hackers on steroids.

Nano /’nanō/
(1.) Noun Something people who don’t know Linux use.

Packet /‘pakit/
(1.) Noun Something that’s only useful when sent at six million of them per second.
(2.) Verb How to show love on the internet.

Penetration testing /ˌpeniˈtrāSHən/ /testiNG/
(1.) Verb White hat synonym for what Black hat hackers do.

Prosec /‘prosək/
(1.) Noun Digital Republican Party, mostly funded/puppeted by FBI or CIA.

Skid /‘skid/
(1.) Noun A person who aspires to be a hacker.

SQL /ˈsēkwəl/
(1.) Noun Something few understand but everyone exploits. The “gaping vagina” of the internet. See also: your mom.

White hat /(h)wīthat/
(1.) Noun A hacker who uses havij to extort companies for lengthy “security” contracts and periodic auditing services.