It keeps creeping closer and closer. Minute by minute. Day by day. It’s almost here and I’m insanely excited. I’m building a life with an amazing partner and we’re doing amazing things together. The excitement is really starting to well up and I can’t avoid just popping off anymore. I can’t wait. There are so many awesome things we’re planning and it’s going to be so much fun. I’m gonna network the shit out of the house with smart everything.

My anxiety is through the roof these days. I’ve been working on the same massive project for nearly six months now. Maybe it’s been longer, I honestly can’t remember. It has felt like many eternities. As if that weren’t anxiety enough, I’m possibly being poached by our software development team. I love programming and tinkering but I really don’t know what to think. Not only is all this going on, but we’re closing on a new house in the comings weeks.

It seems like we’re devolving again. It’s crazy to think that at some point we perceived ourselves to be quite close to becoming a space-faring species, at home amongst the stars. That imaginary society is so far removed from every society that thinks it’s important to regulate people’s genitals and bedroom activities. It’s all just so stupid, and the more you zoom out the dumber it gets. Billionaires are jockeyed into space on giant dicks that they could only afford because they don’t pay living wages or reasonable benefits or even taxes.

There are times when I can barely believe what my life is like. I have a partner who is my best friend and sexy as hell. I have wonderful kids. I have a career. I have everything I could wish for. I need to take time out to explain how appreciative I am for the privileges I am gifted. I’ve never had a love like this before, and I’ll never have another love like it.

Sometimes it feels like people like me more or prefer my company more when I’m not asserting myself. I don’t know if it’s a me problem or if it’s just how interactions go. I’ve always been a pretty laid back person, and I really still am, but I’m trying to not be avoidant to a toxic level. I don’t really have anything outlined ahead of time to get off my chest, so the best I can do for the moment is some “stream-of-consciousness” style rambling.

Like many teenagers growing up, I had been conditioned to reserve things that I thought or felt that weren’t in line with what my parents expected of me. I had to reserve things I actually thought or felt for when I was around friends, where I could mostly express myself without fear of reproach. I feel like this is a pretty normal situation for everyone in my age group. What became incredibly unfortunate was me taking this mindset into relationships.

So You’re Dating a Nurse You’ve met someone, you’re dating, and you feel like you’ve found an incredibly intelligent and compassionate person to share your life with. You’d be completely correct, but if you aren’t sure of what exactly this entails, please do read on. Tis But a Scratch You may not realize it yet, but you’ll soon learn that you’re being a gigantic baby. Stomach ache? Headache? Feeling some kind of way?

I hope that one day my children can inherit my mistakes, that they not be required to make the same ones I had made in life, and can make their own mistakes and learn along the way in a less harsh manner than what I experienced. I hope that being an open book for them gives them the brevity they need to live better than I could. I don’t know that it will work out that way, but I can hope at least.

I don’t think I’ve ever been so exhausted in my entire life. I’ve worked third shift, I’ve had sprees of all-nighters, I’ve experienced illness that wholly prevents sleep- But of all the things to bring me to my knees, not having either of my sleep aids at the ready eclipses every incidence of insomnia that I’ve ever experienced. I’ve self-medicated for insomnia many years now. Upon discovering that prolonged melatonin use can cause vivid nightmares, I had sought the assistance of a doctor to get a normal night’s sleep.

Fuck China. 动态网自由门 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 Free Tibet 六四天安門事件 The Tiananmen Square protests of 1989 天安門大屠殺 The Tiananmen Square Massacre 反右派鬥爭 The Anti-Rightist Struggle 大躍進政策 The Great Leap Forward 文化大革命 The Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution 人權 Human Rights 民運 Democratization 自由 Freedom 獨立 Independence 多黨制 Multi-party system 台灣 臺灣 Taiwan Formosa 中華民國 Republic of China 西藏 土伯特 唐古特 Tibet 達賴喇嘛 Dalai Lama 法輪功 Falun Dafa 新疆維吾爾自治區 The Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Region 諾貝爾和平獎 Nobel Peace Prize 劉暁波 Liu Xiaobo 民主 言論 思想 反共 反革命 抗議 運動 騷亂 暴亂 騷擾 擾亂 抗暴 平反 維權 示威游行 李洪志 法輪大法 大法弟子 強制斷種 強制堕胎 民族淨化 人體實驗 肅清 胡耀邦 趙紫陽 魏京生 王丹 還政於民 和平演變 激流中國 北京之春 大紀元時報 九評論共産黨 獨裁 專制 壓制 統一 監視 鎮壓 迫害 侵略 掠奪 破壞 拷問 屠殺 活摘器官 誘拐 買賣人口 遊進 走私 毒品 賣淫 春畫 賭博 六合彩 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 Winnie the Pooh 劉曉波动态网自由门

For anyone who has been hiding under a rock for the last couple months, I’ll bring you up to speed. Andrew Lee is a spoiled little bitch who “bought” the once-venerable IRC network freenode. This little fuckstick initially claimed he was only orbiting to support free software causes, but as he put money into freenode began continually demanding more say in how freenode was operated. Ultimately he drove away the staff that makes freenode what it is, and they formed a new network at Libera.

I’ve been using irssi a lot lately to mitigate the sheer volume of networks and channels I dick around in on IRC at any given moment, and using TheLounge is great and all, but I’m feeding node.js about 3GB just to keep it running. I’ve noticed that irssi barely breaches 130MB of RAM when left to idle. When you combine irssi with the really neat tricks like 100 windows in irssi, you can have an extremely RAM-efficient setup that’s capable of quick navigation and split-window juggling.

It looks like Jason Miller is in the headlines again. Apparently he didn’t enjoy all the reporting done on that one time he banged a sex worker and then poisoned her with morning after pill. He was so a-n-g-e-r-y that he sued Gizmodo Media Group, who proceeded to pull all this really bad stuff out called “evidence” that totally didn’t go how Miller expected it to. Apparently he now owes them $42k for trying to tell them to shut the hell up without any legal basis for doing so.

Looks like Trump is “tweeting” again, except this time sending short bursts of messages to his shitty personal blog. It’s funny to see a former president be reduced to the level of your average joe blogger. I guess that’s really the privilege we’re looking for. Everyone wants to be able to host their own soap box, and everyone should have that right. Including Facebook, Twitter, etc. They should be able to moderate the content on their platform, just as Donnie can moderate his shitty personal blog.

I am your “ride or die”. I don’t write that in any light-hearted way. It’s a sentiment I intend to express in the most declamatory way possible. It isn’t something to whisper, it’s something to shout from the tallest building or emblazon a blimp with. I’ve always used words to cope with difficult situations in life. I can elaborate every detail of hardships and sadness and the words roll off my tongue effortlessly, as it’s something I’ve done for a very long time.

I grabbed everything I give a damn about and turned in the keys. It’s over. The bullshit is over. Sweet. Got all my raspberry pi’s set up. Everything’s moving and grooving. Still sorta hungover from a 50mg edible last night. Holy fucking GOD that thing tore me up. Rekt.

As long as I’ve been alive, the pronounds “They/Them” have been reserved for unique instances. It’s been used as a plural, a general non-specific pronoun, singular indefinite antecedent, and to protect an individual’s identity. These instances have been pretty codified in our minds from school. It was always incorrect to use “They” to refer to an individual that can be addressed with “He/She”. Historically, the structures that we establish to define our world have taken a lot of time and consideration before catching up to what’s been accepted as the norm.

We have a house picked out and it’s now “pending”. Once it’s finished and has certificate of occupancy, we’re moving in. It’s going to be a beautiful, huge, awesome house. Four bedrooms, two and a half bath, all your regular rooms plus an extra “flex” room. It’s perfect. The person I’m establishing my life with couldn’t be more perfect for me. The deadline of moving out of my soggy apartment draws nigh.

Glad I got the last post off my chest. Now it’s nothing but looking onward and upward, and I get to do it with my best friend and the best partner ever. I think 2020 and most of 2021 has proven fairly awful for a lot of people, but I can honestly say that 2020 and on has been some of the best times in my life, even the difficult parts.

Holy balls, what a bunch of weeks. Time just slips by and I just about can’t account for where it went. My shitty landlord did me a favor, though. The morons who live above me yet again had an “issue” which caused torrential flooding of my unit. Subsequently, the morons at Hartman-Tyner Village Squire maintenance neglected to check my unit or notify me in any way that the unit above mine had a serious flooding incident.