Truth and Honesty

Five missed calls from my grandmother. Five. Someone must have died. No one ever has anything that urgent to call me about unless something at my employer broke and I need to drive in to fix it.

I return her call and I’m asked if I did my taxes yet. Of course. I’ve bought a good many things I’ve needed. It’s been a rough year. We’ve even spoiled ourselves for going without for so long. We have deserved it, having struggled through. Unlike my snake of an ex who has her rent paid in full with child support. I’ve had to put blood, sweat, and tears into everything I’ve earned. No free rides. I pay my dues, even if it’s just shoe money for a section 8 recipient.

No, no one has died. Jewelry she inherited from her mother has gone missing. She did a very boneheaded thing- she apparently told me she put it in some towels in her linen closet. Even if no one stole it, which she’s implying I’ve done over the phone, she very likely lost it without any help from outside sources. Then she asks where my girlfriend’s new tattoo came from. Again, my son gained me an appreciable tax return, and his mother celebrated her bond with her son by getting a cute tattoo of two elephants. They sit and make elephant noises back and forth every day. It’s adorable. She’s criticizing me now about how I’ve struggled and putting the money to better use.

I’m awe-struck. I’ve never stolen a physical object in all my life. I am an honest person. She knows this. I should say, she knew this.

I’m tired of the bullshit religious rhetoric. If you need the promise of some heaven, hell, or afterlife to be a good person- you don’t deserve anything. Being a good person without religion is far more respectable, and my girlfriend and I are respectable.

She wants her jewelry back, she wants to know what happened to it. If anyone stole it, it would’ve been a family member to get an abortion for their obviously judgement impaired daughter. It would’ve been my own lying snake in the grass mother, to tell my grandmother that I probably stole it.

By this point, I might as well not have any family. All they’ve done is prepare me for exposure to the world, they’ve given me examples of what really horrible people are like by being the most horrible people I’ve ever known.

I hope my grandmother gets her jewelry back, but I don’t want any apologies when she does. I don’t want anything anymore from anyone. I’m beyond done with the liars, the hatred, the religious garbage, and undue stress. My mother is a horrible human being who smokes like a freight train and “lived in sin” with another man for over a decade, but she uses religious garbage to manipulate my grandmother into hating my girlfriend. My mother is a toothless, white trash, horrible waste of a human being who has no diploma and has held two jobs in her entire lifetime- despite not being able to afford to heat her home in winter or cool it in summer.

Thanks for the room, mom. It wreaked of rabbit piss and the boards beneath the tattered carpet gave me splinters. I couldn’t even spend adequate time with my daughter because I worked midnights and the house was a hundred plus degrees during the day. But yeah, screw you, mom. You judgemental asshole.

And granny, I’m sorry, I love you but this is bullshit. You know it. Enjoy your toothless wretch of a daughter, I hope she’s worth it.

EDIT: My position regarding my innocence is established here and will not change from this point on. When I am hurt, especially when I am deeply hurt, I respond with severe anger. It’s who I am. It’s the only way I’ve ever dealt with being hurt. But I do not steal. I have never stolen. That is true now and always will be true. I will copy, I will share, but I will never steal. It’s the core of who I am.

Everyone can kiss my ass. If anyone thinks for a second they can call me and complain about this blog post, please see previous sentence.

08 Mar 2014 15:09 | reality, truth, honest
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