What the Hell

This is really just a sort of a quick blurb about how I still exist. Nothing really else to say at the moment. Not sure when I’ll update again or what my update will consist of. I’m strongly considering gutting this space for something else. Not sure what. There are a few things I’ll continue to host in perpetuity, though. At least, I fully intend to host until the statute of limitations is long past. Fucking lame skids.

I’m sure that when I get a minute I’m also going to wax poetic about life in general and about successes, lessons learned, things I’m striving for, and the happinesses in my life. I just can’t make any promises at the moment.

This is turning into a more long-winded update than I had originally intended. That’s okay I guess.

Anyways, you can watch this space or not. Regardless of what you do or even regardless of the upcoming net neutrality bullshit, I’m not going to be silenced. Not permanently. I might post infrequently, but my voice will always be heard.

Peace, bitches.

Addendum: I think I know what I’ll blog about next, as far as tech material. I’ll toss up my current irssi setup in it’s entirety, using AWL and a few other scripts.

 
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23 Nov 2017 19:18 | omgwtfbbq

Insecurity

“Insecurity” is a color no one wears well. If you aren’t comfortable in your own skin it becomes pretty damned apparent when you can’t even take actual kind words from someone without acting out like an enraged child “behind someone’s back”.

#MyFutureIsBrighterThanYours #MyGPAisHigherThanYours #PrettierThanYou #ILoveBeingMe #GrowUp

LOL

 
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23 Jul 2016 14:47 | games, got no time for this

Mother of God

I just have one thing to say:

Being on the road sucks.

That’s really all, at the moment. Maybe, if life slows down some, I can get a few more words out there. I’ve learned a hell of a lot in the last month or two of being a road warrior. Not only professionally, but in adapting my life to being a remote one.

Needless to say, OpenVPN has become my friend. I’ve learned quite a bit about making my life easier in all respects by using it. Especially when it comes to maintaining a connection to my family and my home life despite my not being home.

I just hope when I’m done out West, I won’t need this information ever again.

 
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10 Jul 2016 12:25 | time, work, life, death

Motivation

I’m having a hell of a time maintaining my motivation. I’m learning new things, I’m honing old skills and developing new ones, I’m restructuring my entire “professional” existence. I’m doing big things, small things, all the things.

I dunno, I’m just petering out. I’ve been working 60+ hours for a few weeks now, and I’m burned out quite severely. I need a beer and a day with zero obligations. I need to sleep more than six hours. I know all of what I need. I’m also painfully aware of how scarce my needs really are. Life doesn’t work that way. It’s not so simple.

Well, I better get back to what I was doing. I just needed to take a minute to do something for myself instead of for others. Even if only for a minute, I had to take it.

Crap.

 
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14 May 2016 09:28 | exhausted, overtime, life

Wonderful Woman

Moms are amazing people. They can take all the abuses of uncaring, neglectful, distracted kids. They’re also pretty resilient against partners who sometimes get overly wrapped up in the rigorous routine of daily life. Most of all, they’re amazing because sometimes the only thing they need to remind them of why they keep going- The only thing they require is a hug and “I love you”. Of course, I’m sure pampering can help sometimes.

My kids have the best mom and stepmom in the world. They do. I’ve never seen a larger heart.

My fiancee deserves more than just a single day to celebrate her motherhood. She needs an entire week. My son has no idea how lucky he is. I don’t think he’ll ever fully be able to appreciate that his mother will work for him, fight for him, and make damn sure he has everything he needs in life and a lot of what he wants. Not only does she have such immense dedication, it’s balanced and fair. She’ll never tell him something is beyond his reach because “it’s not what he needs”. If she can do it for him, she will.

You can tell what kind of mother she is without ever meeting her. Talk to my son. Watch him, how he plays, how he behaves. He’s almost always the happiest kid in the room. He’s secure in what he knows about his existence. He exudes every facet of what a child with a strong and supportive provider can. He should, too. They’re together all day, every day, while I’m at work.

To the woman in my life: I love you most, you balls. I’ll think of something thoughtful and loving enough to bring you to tears on Mother’s Day, and dammit- I’m going to take pictures.

 
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30 Apr 2016 08:04 | love, moms, wonderful